Self-Confidence is one of the most widely misunderstood skills. In fact, you may not have ever heard it referred to as a ‘skill’; perhaps you’d say mindset or behaviour instead. Self-confidence is all these things. It’s a skill because we can develop and improve it through practice, but it’s equally a mindset because it involves how we interpret difficulties and failure. Finally, it’s a behaviour, because confidence is shown by what you do, and not what you think or feel.
Understanding what confidence is beyond an emotion that sometimes feels and sometimes doesn’t can help you work on improving it. It’s an important skill to have as it forms an integral part of our overall mental wellbeing. In this article, we will dive into the true definition of self-confidence, as well as the factors that influence it and how it can be improved.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence, by definition, is trust and belief you have in your ability, judgement and power to succeed and overcome challenges. Self-confidence should not be confused with self-esteem, which is how you value your worth instead. This definition immediately contradicts theories that confidence is entirely inherited and can’t be changed or developed. It’s true that genetics play a role in how naturally self-confident we are, but not in how confident we can become. Typically, people who have high levels of self-confidence have the following personality traits:
- Belief and trust that they can accomplish goals they set themselves.
- Accept what their strengths and weaknesses are, instead of trying to be perfect.
- Have resilience through criticism, mistakes and failures.
- Consistently and clearly stick up for themselves and are assertive in what they say.
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Factors That Affect Self-Confidence
Childhood & Previous Experiences
Arguably the most influential factor in determining self-confidence is our childhood experiences. There are many cases where positive experiences at a young age have hugely improved self-confidence in young children and led them to carry this confidence into their later life. Contrastingly, it’s common for children to go through stressful and traumatic experiences which negatively impact their self-confidence, and continue to impact it in many years to come.
At young ages, our brains take in every piece of information and stimuli and process it in order to learn and grow, which means experiencing challenging situations at this time can shape your self-confidence for later life. But it doesn’t take a life-changing event to occur for self-confidence as a child to be affected. In fact, it can be as simple as parenting styles that either build or diminish your confidence.
For example, in a household that adopts strict and controlling parenting styles, where children are consistently punished for their mistakes, children can easily develop low levels of self-confidence from getting used to the punishment and lacking any encouragement or praise. On the other hand, parents who choose to praise their children for even the smallest of tasks actually improve self-confidence levels in their children as they start to believe in their abilities.
Mindset and Perception
As well as our childhood experiences, a second factor that determines self-confidence levels is our own mindsets and personal perception. Everyone has an internal dialogue, which can sometimes talk positively about us, and negatively too. Without realising, negative self-talk can increase self-doubt and lead us to believe the thoughts that go through our mind – even when there’s no way of controlling them. Contrastingly, if you’re someone who talks positively about themselves, even when it feels unnatural to, you will slowly be building up your self-confidence, which will help you overcome challenges and situations when your confidence is tested.
How to Rebuild Self-Confidence
Improving self-confidence requires patience, as it’s impossible to rebuild confidence without consistency and persistence. The key thing to remember is that confidence is built through action, not just positive thinking. Start by facing some of your smallest fears and taking action by doing the exact things you’d usually avoid. Doing what you’re scared of improves self-confidence as it proves to yourself that you are capable of getting through situations that are challenging and uncomfortable. If this is proven consistently and regularly, you will carry this attitude into the rest of your life and any other confronting situations you face.
Although it’s necessary to understand how we can develop self-confidence, it’s also important to recognise that there are always situations and events, completely out of our control, that can damage or remove your self-confidence at the most unexpected times. These factors are known as social and environmental influences that are unavoidable and are life-changing for your self-confidence. In the worst cases, for example in car accidents, individuals may suffer from both physical and mental injuries that prevent them from returning to work and normal life.
After so long out of everyday life, it’s normal for individuals to feel uncomfortable and lack confidence in returning, and it can take months if not years to get that self-confidence back to where it should be. As well as confidence redevelopment methods, several other professional services can also help, such as firms like Bond Turner who specialise in mental injury compensation in personal injury claims. Hopefully, being aware of all the factors that can influence self-confidence, you can feel more settled through the days that feel more challenging and know these will come and go.